Cousin Johnny!

Often times I battle the thought that my mother is completely insane. Very often, actually. Sometimes she surprises me with shocking clarity, but other times...not-so-much.

Not long ago she caught a glimpse of a magazine I'd bought. Seeing a photo of a scruffy Johnny Depp-the reason I bought said magazine-she chuckled a little as she told me that he looked just like my father. To which I absent-mindedly told her to bite her tongue.

Blasphemy! The most attractive man on the planet looks like my alcoholic father?! What say you?!

She still insisted. She laughed and went on about how Mr. Depp is prettier, but that as he gets older he really looks like my Dad. Blah Blah Blah...

So, I was thinking she's forgotten what this old Dad o' mine looks like. Even though I must admit that I haven't seen much of him during my 26 years. Our estranged relationship continues, but I still think I remember what he looks like. For goodness sakes-this is my father we're talking about here-you crazy old coot!

Well, today, I see this photo.


Shut my mouth. At his fuzziest, he really does look like my father! I'm not sure if I should puke or not. I mean, they say girls are attracted to men like their fathers and all, but come on! If I had a digital photo of my Dad, I would SO show you, and you too could see the weirdness. Next time I'm in Kentucky or he's down here, I'll get one.

That's another thing(going out on a limb here-completely not possible).^__^ What if I've been madly in love with my Cousin Johnny all these years?! Since 21 Jump Street and Cry Baby?! The history of my Dad's side of the family hasn't exactly been made clear to me. All I know is I'm from Kentucky/Indiana/Florida, I'm part Cherokee and from a figuratively gypsy family.

John Christopher Depp II was born not too far from where I was-in Kentucky. He's part Cherokee, much like myself. And I can't prove it, but I think his family belonged to the same group of gypsies that mine did!!

The evidence is undeniable, my friends. Fortunately the fates have kept us apart, as not to allow the incest that inevitably would have come from our crossing paths.