Just Enough Time For Shenanigans

I haven't had much time to blather these past few days. What with the wedding and friends down from Michigan and all. It's been grand, but exhausting.

I haven't much time to blather now either, but I hope to write a full fledged post later. For now, I'm just letting all you wonderful folks know that this is not another bloggy hiatus, and I will triumph(My comma usage has always been, how should I put it, questionable, to say the least. Forgive me, please.)!

What did I have time for this week? To stickerfy a couple of my office items...

Say hello Mr. Cup Holder...

and Mr. Electric Stapler.

They make me so happy! ^_^

(Okay. How unintelligent would it make someone appear if they just recently observed the COMPOSE tab in their blog composing area?! Noob!!)

Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light, Go

Why does everyone on the planet go in slow motion when you're in a hurry? Seriously. This is not just in our heads. These people really are strategically placed and going abnormally slow.

I had a million and one things to do today. Go to the post office by this time. Make the bank deposit by this time. I have an appointment at four. In usual Heather fashion, I gave myself minimal time to get to these places, and get these things done. I swear I almost had a massive coronary sitting in traffic.

I was the fourth car from the red light, in the slow lane. The light changes. We sit there. And sit there. The light eventually turns yellow and red AGAIN! I still don't know what went on. There wasn't a wreck, a pedestrian, an alien space craft landing. Everything appeared to be normal. Yet, there we all sat.

I'm not a horn honker. If I honk my horn, it's because I see immanent danger, and you are about to die if you do not make a change in your plan of action. So I sat silently, checking the clock, wishing to God in heaven that I had a paint ball gun.

Travelling would be much more effective if I could tag all the inattentive people. You'd know who to get behind at the red light then. Hot pink rear windshield? Steer clear, my friend. Steer clear.

So Much For Old School

Let me first express my distaste for newspapers. I loathe them. I've always disliked them, and here are three reasons why.

1. I've never been able to turn the pages successfully.
2. I'm allergic to the ink.
3. They smell funny.

That being said, I read a newspaper today. I was in search of a specific article. During my unpleasant inky exodus I came across a disturbing fact.

The State Department of Education apparently decided to display their all out distaste for children, and all that is good and right, by sending out the following decree. Partial school days have been banned!!!

You heard me right. Those days we LIVED FOR! Pep rallies. Parades. Anything they'd allow us to attend. It's what kept us going! Partial school days were the solitary reason we trudged along, doing as we were told and never(almost) questioning authority.

This new rule eliminates dismissing school early on the last day before Christmas and Spring Break. What's wrong with these people?! Have they no decency?!

If you thought violence in schools was a problem before. Just wait until this gets into full swing. These little punks are gonna be packin' heat now.

(yoinked from photobucket-Jeb's sister)

Seedy Fellow

Creepy people are everywhere. Not that this surprises me or anything, but it just catches me off guard sometimes.

I work in a pretty little town by a lake, about 30 minutes from my home. 9 out of 10 people that live here are retired. They spend all their time pampering froofy little dogs and commissioning artists.

I know this because they walk said "dogs" by my window. They then continue to the coffee shop down the street, where I have some art. Thus, I end up painting little spoiled froofy dogs and kids. Rapture.

Anyhow, the other tenth of the population are flowing into and out of the courthouse. It's random people from all over the county. They come to get their various permits and licenses, or to pay tickets and whatnot.

Every once in a while I'll see someone out of the ordinary. Someone a little seedy. Usually they come from the police station, which is behind the courthouse.

Today just such a seedy fellow wandered by my window. I saw him notice me and decide to come in. Ugh. I quickly greeted him and asked how I could help him. He tossed a black garbage bag, full of unknown contents, onto the floor. He then told me he needed to use the telephone.

I know I could've told him no, but I'm nice. I'm also a huge weenie. I am very quickly intimidated and offer up whatever it is people request, in order to avoid conflict.

So, I dialed the number and gave him the receiver(which has now been amply disinfected). I wandered over to the copy machine and copied some letterhead. I managed to look pretty busy while dropping some eve.

He didn't come out and say it, but he eluded to the fact that he'd been in jail for three days. This phone call was apparently to wrangle someone into coming to pick him up. It sounded as if it was unsuccessful and he hung up all disgruntled-like.

It took what seemed like eons, but after seeing I wasn't offering anymore help, he decided to leave. I locked the door behind him as he left, Clorox wiped my phone, and went to chastise my coworker for leaving me up there all alone. Apparently, her plan was to hide out, and if he killed me she would call the police. I thanked her for her saintly plan.

I know it's a bit naive, but I usually assume that everyone's decent. I guess I just want to believe that. I do know better. Thanks to the crime channel I'm now silently paranoid about pretty much everyone. Especially if they carry black hefty bags around downtown.