I Could Burn The Building Down

I know I've mentioned how unattractive my office is before, but it's due time to grumble about it again. So...it's unattractive. I try to hide the aesthetic ickiness of it, but sometimes there is only so much my paintings and other quirky bits can mask.

So, imagine my reaction when my boss mentioned looking into moving offices! The grin on my face could only be equalled by a golden retriever puppy in a room full of people lying on the floor. Oh, the possibilities!

Before I go completely off the deep end, let me say that being a non-profit teen shelter, we can't really afford to keep paying such an obscene rent for an office space. So, it's for the good of the agency.

Okay. Yay!

So, we looked at a few options. A couple were worse. A couple were okay. Then we found it.

A cute little place about 2 minutes from our current place of business. It's a wee house that would make such an adorable office. Not to mention that the wall colors are glorious and totally work with all of my art. It's like 350 bucks cheaper a month. It has an adorable back yard with a privacy fence, and a pregnant kitty. It also has a kitty door! This is very important to me, people. Do you know what this means?! An office kitty for meeeeeeeeee! Although said kitty might get lonely on the weekends. Hmm. This is still in the slightly psychotic pondering stage.

So, yeah. If we move into this joint, be prepared for mad pictures. Well, not mad as in mad. You know what I mean. Yay!

P.S. I doubt we'll get an office kitty, but let me dream.

List Lust V

This week's list lust is in honor of a few things with which I am currently obsessed.

1.) Ettore Sottsass was an overtly creative and intelligent man that said incredibly simple things. Such as:

"It has always seemed to me the most natural thing in the world to draw and make things."

"I would like not to have to play the role of the artist only because this way I get paid, and I wish it wouldn’t even occur to others that there’s anyone who gets paid for being an artist."

2.) Finishing things I start. Like this Ogling Owlie for the swap I'm coordinating on Swap-Bot, and this scarf for a friend of mine. Yay for completion!

3.) Caron Simply Soft Eco Yarn. Made from recycled water bottles, and it is just so soft.

4.) Buttons. Button eyes. Button noses. All things buttons!

5.) I've been addicted to this song for what seems like a year now. Since I found the video, I love it more.



6.) I have a love/hate relationship with Joanna Newsom. I love her music, lyrics and videos, but can't stand to listen to her talk. This video is awesome.



7.) Our newest additions to the family. Yes. More chickens. One white leghorn hen and 5 new white silkies. The female silkies look so much alike we can hardly tell them apart. So, we call the rooster Ashitaka, the four identical hens The Kyoshi Warriors, and the one big chicky is Suki.

This is a silkie.

I'd put an acutual picture of our chickens, but I've been instructed not to do so by the husband-person. Wonder what he's going to blog about next? Hmmm.

I believe my work here is done. Hope that wasn't too terribly boring. Watch the videos. They're very charming.

Wacky World of Weddings

I understand that not knowing these people has the potential of making this an extremely boring post. So, I'm sticking with pretty pictures and staying brief.

Cake toppers in action. See the maimed icing? An overly helpful uncle mangled the cake while "assisting" with set-up. We are forever thankful.And the actual lovely couple. Aren't they cute/incredibly nervous looking?The highlight of the wedding was this little ham. She emptied the entire contents of her little white basket into one spot, wore said basket on her head, and stole the show. That's what flower girls are for, right?

Oh, and of course the sorta little sister and I had to document our roll in the event. Being cute and smiling.Congratulations Leah and Devin! You survived being bubbled. ^__^

Just Enough Time For Shenanigans

I haven't had much time to blather these past few days. What with the wedding and friends down from Michigan and all. It's been grand, but exhausting.

I haven't much time to blather now either, but I hope to write a full fledged post later. For now, I'm just letting all you wonderful folks know that this is not another bloggy hiatus, and I will triumph(My comma usage has always been, how should I put it, questionable, to say the least. Forgive me, please.)!

What did I have time for this week? To stickerfy a couple of my office items...

Say hello Mr. Cup Holder...

and Mr. Electric Stapler.

They make me so happy! ^_^

(Okay. How unintelligent would it make someone appear if they just recently observed the COMPOSE tab in their blog composing area?! Noob!!)

I Now Pronounce You...

Mr. and Mrs. Finished Cake Topper. Yay! *throws heart shaped candies* *sheds tear*We all know I'm a hopeless procrastinator, but I have triumphed! My beloved sort-of-sister is getting married this Sunday, and I have successfully completed the lovely couple's personalized cake topper.

I'm not going to delve into the whole, "Leah was THREE when I became best friends with her big sister, and now she's NINETEEN and getting hitched!!!" spiel. I'm not.

I'm merely going to show you a full view of their wee doppelgangers.

I hope they like it.

Good night my faithful few. ^_^

List Lust IV

This week's list lust is inspired by Ari. I'm unashamedly copying her most recent post. I-I just can't h-help myself.

You can Google pretty much anything, right? How about what you need?

According to the Google powers that be, I need:

A CHILDHOOD: Oh, how true this is. I had a loving mother, but there was definitely a lot to be desired. Having just seen Coraline, though, I think I'll just be thankful for what I had. ^_^

TWO THERAPISTS: I'm not so sure two would do it, but I'd let them give it a shot.

TO RAMBLE: I agree! Both verbally and ambulatory-wise.

SUN AND OPEN CIRCULATION: I'm pretty sure they're talking about mountain heather here, but I think Vitamin D and fresh air are necessary for my growth and longevity as well.

TO BE REMINDED OF TASKS: Oh, how terribly accurate this one is. My husband person spends much of his time asking, "Shouldn't you be..." or "Did you ever...". Bless him.

A COMPLETE PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION: I'm wondering if there's some sort of imbalanced Heather epidemic.

TO BE SHOT: I know at least one person who might think this, and it makes me so sad. I might actually let him shoot me. If it would fix anything, I'd let him pop a cap in like...my arm.

HELP: Does this have anything to do with the fact that I'd let a guy shoot me, if it would lead to reconciliation? Is that terribly mental?

TO GIVE UP: Never!

A CAPE TO TIRE HER BULL AND PREPARE IT FOR THE KILL: I got nothin'.

A HUG FROM SOMEONE: I am definitely a hug enthusiast.

YOUR FINANCIAL SUPPORT: I like this one. :P

HER OWN SHOW: I couldn't agree more! Alright folks, what should we call it?

YOUR LOVE: For some reason I now have like four eighties songs in my head, and I think I'll share them! Yes. I'm totally going to link to the cheesy videos.

-Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love
-White Snake's Is This Love
-Roxette's Listen To Your Heart, and It Must Have Been Love
-Cutting Crew's I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight

Okay. I'll stop now. If you can make it through them, it's so worth it. I wasn't allowed to watch MTV when I was little, but my big sister always let me. Bless you, Jenni.

Can't Take My Eyes Off Coraline!

The songs are all stuck in my head, and I had the most fantastic dreams last night, thanks to this wonderful little bit of genius. I can't say enough about how awesome this movie is! Foreshadowing. Symbolism. All my favorite dorky literary things.

Go see it. Now. I'm not kidding.

You will so adore this little blue-haired misfit, and all that surrounds her. Especially if you can appreciate Alice's character. Seriously awesome, people.It's beyond creepy and delightful. Gorgeously ugly. Suprising and funny. Just perfect. Tim Burton cries a little every time he hears it mentioned. I'm sure of it.Okay. Since I'm not willing to ruin anything for you. I'm going to stop yammering on and repeating myself. Coraline rocks! Just go see it. For me?

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?!

I have just had a very uncomfortable experience with a very angry person. Ugh. Is it just me, or is it extremely unnerving to attempt to soothe a savage beast?

Keeping my calm in the face of anger is my forte. As I may have mentioned, I grew up in a loving, but emotionally, and sometimes physically, volatile home. At age five I knew to keep my mouth shut and listen, or it would just be worse. I am completely capable of listening and remaining objective...if it's not personal.

This was personal. I managed to keep cool, but it was so hard. SO. HARD.

Even when I disagree with someone I can always see at least part of their argument. See and understand. Biting my tongue is easy. Loving in spite of disagreement is easy. Being called a HYPOCRITE because I can see and understand where someone is coming from, but still not agree?! Not so easy.

The conversation ended like this:

ME: You know I love you and I understand where you're coming from. We might just have to agree to disagree here.

THEM: Well...*huff* I love you too(undertone of I want to strip you of your ability to think for yourself and make you my mini me).

I'd call that a success, were it not for the heavy heart I now carry. I hate when I can't soothe someone by just listening...when they aren't satisfied until you give up your belief and adopt theirs. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Deep healing breaths.

All You Need Is Love & Possibly Some Sleep

Happy Valentine's Day, you wonderful bloggers, you!

I don't know how gloriously romantic your days have proven to be, but mine hasn't exactly been picturesque. I mean, it's been a good day. I'm not complaining. It just hasn't felt much like Valentine's.

This morning Todd and I went to church, taught our classes, lead song service and all the usual sabbath activities. After that, we spent the afternoon preparing for Jodi's little sister's wedding shower. I was in charge of banners, games and keeping the bride(Leah) sane.

There's this nice(she's not really nice) crazy(she is actually crazy) lady that keeps calling the groom Kevin. His name is Devin. She's been corrected numerous times to no avail. By the end of the evening, we all just resorted to calling him Kevin too. It was hilarious. We had a blast, but by the time we loaded the gifts into their car it was 9PM.

So, Todd not being much of a night owl, dinner and a movie just never happened. I might attempt to be disgruntled and mopey, but I'm just too darn tired. Todd and Kimchi are already asleep in their recliner, and I'm not far behind them. Our date can wait 'til tomorrow.

Coraline, here I come!

Oh, and I'm almost finished with the cake topper for the wedding next weekend! I'm still working on the groom. I've finished with Leah, but haven't taken a photo yet. Here's a picture of her as of yesterday.

List Lust III

Life got you down? Stressed? Tired? What you need is some List Lust, and you've come to the right place.

It just so happens to be time for some more listy goodness! Every Wednesday(possibly Thursday), remember?! It might challenge my knowledge of roman numerals after a while, but I'm willing to deal. So, what shall it be this week?

Oh, how about...things that make me smile. Totally different than things that I love, right?

1. Armored clumsy beasts that consume things that bite me.


2. Not so attractive men making beautiful music. The Black Keys.

3. Wee rubber-necking buggies, like giraffe beetles.

4. My last hand-sewn owlie. He was a gift to my friend Ian.

5. Forcing my sweet husband to let me take pictures of him in the wee hours of the morning.

6. Color-changing fishies with a college education. Cuttle Fish.

7. Creepy, clicky-headed tree spirits.

8. Chaa-lee biting his brother's finga. This kills me.


9. Attractive men making beautiful music. Andrew Bird. Sigh.

10. My husband person's new blog! Yup. His very own blog. After all the fun he made of me for having one, I'm quite certain you should all go introduce yourselves to him as Heather's "internet friends" and harass him slightly. ^__^

Broody Blog

Dear Mimsy,

I don't know what to say. Another bloggy hiatus snuck up on me! I didn't mean for it to happen.

My poor little blog. I love you. I do. It just seems that you're always the first thing to get neglected when things get crazy out here in the real world.

You've heard this all before, I know, but I really do realize how humiliating this must be for you. Being ignored in the public eye. People checking in on you, day after day, only to find you alone and afraid. Afraid I may never come back. Afraid that all we've had together will be lost-tossed aside. And for what?! A paycheck? A craft project? A wedding?

I understand what we have here, and that I need to get my priorities straight. I'm working on it. Please forgive me.

Mad Madam Mim

Such A Noob

I have had many an unintellectual moment in my 26 years, but not many of them have mortified me. Most of the time I can laugh things off. I'm totally capable of admitting that I made a mistake and moving on, but sometimes the sting of error lingers. Oh, how it lingers.

On Sunday Todd and I ventured to Ari's house for a little shindig. A little football. Some house warming and the like.

On the way there I decided to call a friend of mine. He was thinking of attending this wee and glorious event, but sounded a little tentative the night before. So, my plan was to give him a nudge out the door.

I picked up my phone, went to my contacts, found his name and dialed. Once the voice on the other end picked up I knew what I had done...I called his ex! Auugh!!

My mind went blank as her sweet voice repeated it's greeting. Finally, I mustered an "I'm sorry. Wrong number.", but she wasn't having it. She questioned me!

See, we live in Alabama. This ex lives in another state. An entirely different state than the one she had lived in when living with this friend o' mine. So, she thought it a bit fishy that an Alabama number, with the same area code as her ex mind you, would be calling her by mistake. She asked if I was sure that I had the wrong number, cause it was weird that I'd be calling her from Alabama.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, but I pressed on. I stuck with my "Wrong number. So sorry!" bit, until she said my name. Weep. Sob. Sigh.

Seriously?! We're on the phone for 15 seconds, and this chick that I've never met or spoken to before in my life just managed to blow my stupid friend cover?! Only me!

At that point I just said "Hi". I admitted that: I hadn't deleted her number, it was really awkward, I was trying to call him, and I was terribly sorry to have bothered her. I was mortified.

Here's this poor girl, trying to get over this relationship gone awry, and I call her! This was not a nice break-up. Not nice at all. I thought surely she would have a few choice words for me, but she was sweet as pie. Like we were just catching up.

We talked for a few minutes. She said she would really like to meet me someday, and that she was glad I called. Then she offered me the correct number, which I declined, since I had it already!!!

Only me.

So, I've come to the conclusion that she has coped quite well, and is pretty much right as rain. My friend, on the other hand, curses the state in which she lives.

I still haven't deleted her number.

List Lust II

It's that time again, folks. Not that I've been too dependable thus far, but it's that time nonetheless! The plan is to post some list love every Wednesday. So, here goes...a pitiful attempt at 11PM to keep up with my own expectations. The theme? Things that I love that are...green! That's one right there. I just love green! Excited? Yeah. I'm not so sure I am either, but I'm going with it.

1. I love my little quirky love bird. Not quite peach faced, but peach browed.
2. I love me some green muppets. I was even Oscar the Grouch for Halloween one year. I was like 6, and my garbage can rocked!

3. The Kakapo is my favorite bird in the world. Flightless and clumsy looking, they are owl-like and awesome.

4. Of all the things you can do with an avacado, guacamole is tops! Mmmm.

5. Grass is a given, even though it has harbored many an enemy of mine. Bees, ants, chiggers...but I forgive it.

6. Oh, the fuzzy, seedy goodness that is a kiwi fruit.

7. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ohm nom nom.

8. Tiny. Green. Iridescent. Buggies.

9. Pickles are cucumbers soaked is sweet, puckery evil.

10. And I saved the best for last. Johnny Depp's only opponent(besides my lovely and quite adorable husband)...Kermie.


Alright. I've successfully managed to post before midnight. Muahahahaha.

What's your favorite green thing? Oh, do tell.

I Me Mine

Normally I can pull off the whole selflessness thing, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Puppies. Puppies are where I draw the line.

Puppies are cuddly. Puppies are sweet. They're never nasty or mean. I'd give a home to all the lost puppies, if ever one day I was queeeeeeeeeeen(shameless Veggie Tales plug-sorry).

Do I love them? Yes. Do I want them? You know it! Can my husband and I agree on a breed of puppy? Absolutely not.

When I mention a weimaraner, he wants a great pyrenees. When I talk about a weenie dog, he brings up burmese mountain dogs. The moment I said bull terrier, he started talking about yorkies. When I said I needed a bull terrier, and by golly I mean to have one, he flat out said no.

No? Excuse me?! You said what, Mr. Head of Household?

Flabbergasted as I was, I had to admit that we would most likely never have anything other than stray mutts. I've always taken in orphans that someone else tossed out on their little fuzzy butts. I guess because they stepped up from compact to mid-size? I don't know.

Whatever the reason, they've all been perfectly wonderful. I'm happy with my rag-a-muffins, I am. Chewie and Nermal are sweeties, but I'm keeping hope alive for a puppy.

I have never had one. Ever! I just know I'll never get one unless I buy it(not from some horrid puppy mill either). If I'm ever able to live with myself for passing up a shelter dog, it'll be for a bully.

Do you see that mug up there?! Do you? It's the cutest thing I've ever seen?!

I have loved them since I was a wee bairn! Okay, maybe not that wee, but I was pretty little. My mom tended bar, and when I first set eyes on that Spudz Mackenzie poster over the pool table, it was love at first sight.


Oh, and Frankenweenie?! In love!! Tim Burton and this funky mug of a dog won my heart at an early age.

Everything I've read about them says that they're hilarious and crazy smart. They are animated and love to be the center of attention. I can so handle that! Besides, if you try your hand at not giving them the attention they require, I'm thinking they'll probably eat your house.

I'm also thinking that maybe eleven or twelve years from now, when my girls are gone, I want a bull terrier pup. I will convince Todd, and he will love our little egg head.

So, what's your favorite breed of dog?