Sweeter Than Bee Pollen

Watercolor illustration prints available by request at Mad Shiny Shoppe!

Earlier this year, I found myself feeling like someone came and wrenched every last drop of honey from my happy little hive. That someone was my now ex-boss, whom I often refer to as "She Who Must Not Be Named." With her verbal and emotional abuse, she was pretty much a nightmare, and that's coming from someone who can get along with just about anyone.

When I graduated college, I had no idea how to apply my studio art/art history degree. A friend's father offered me a job making art with homeless and at-risk youth, so I jumped on the opportunity. I absolutely loved that position, but funding was cut the next year. I was bumped into a couple neighboring positions, and just counted myself lucky to have a job.

To cut a long story short, I stayed with that agency for six excruciating years, before I'd had too much of She Who Must Not Be Named's tormenting. I'm currently working as an artist/author from my humble home, and it's good great dripping with awesome. Quitting was terribly frightening, and things haven't exactly been perfect, but this new beginning is definitely sweet.

Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking, Pinky?

My beautiful big sister, and her handsome hubby, have just had the most beautiful baby...IN THE WORLD.

Friends, I'd like you to meet my niece, Claire Elizabeth.

She's just two weeks old, gorgeous and already planning for world domination.

Steroid Psychosis Is, Like, A Thing That Happens

Hiya, folks. I'm feeling the awkward, because I haven't blogged in such an incredibly long time. However, I'm feeling a little more myself lately, and I have something important I want to share with you.

Any of you gorgeous people ever heard of something called steroid psychosis? Just in case you haven't, and you get the occasional shot in the hiney when you're sick or have an allergic reaction, I want you to be aware of it.

My last post, for those of you smart enough not to read that depressing mess, was spent whining incessantly about my evil allergic reaction to poison ivy. Well, when I couldn't get in to see my family doctor, I went to a trusted walk-in clinic. I ended up going there twice, four days apart, and receiving two different steroid shots, as well as an oral prescription of prednisone.

When my allergic reaction continued, I was referred to a dermatologist. At that appointment I was informed that I wasn't given enough steroids to begin with, which is why my allergic reaction to the poison ivy came back with a vengeance. There I was given two HUGE shots of steroids, and told the dose would taper off over two weeks, and should definitely take care of my poison ivy rash. And it did just that.

I was super thankful that my rash started to fade, but something else remained. During the month that I was suffering that itchy rash, and receiving all those steroids, I'd become increasingly depressed, anxious, paranoid, and obsessive compulsive. Anything that happened outside of the ordinary was too much for me, and I decided that living was too difficult. I had no suicidal ideation, but I just didn't have the will to live. I cried all the time, and I just wasn't ME anymore. I feared that I'd never feel "normal" again, and was incredibly hopeless.

Well, through a lot of prayer, the support of family and friends, and a visit to my family doctor, I'm slowly getting back to me. My doctor listened patiently to my long story about the poison ivy, and how I'd become overly emotional, paranoid, panic ridden and more obsessive compulsive than I'd ever been in my entire life. She lovingly told me that I sounded like a bipolar patient, but that it was all because of the steroids. She said I was in hyper-drive, and, even though the steroids had been out of my system for weeks, I could continue to feel that way. She prescribed me some medication I was/am very wary of, but I trust her, and I seem to be getting better.

I'm not completely back to normal, but I'm getting there, and I've done some research I'd like to share. There's a lot of information out there on the interwebs, and some of it not so dependable, but this site was very enlightening for me. I believe this information to be reasonable, and helpful. Even a visit to my doctor didn't give me a name to what I was experiencing, and I think that it helps to label it.

What I've learned is that the corticosteroids I'd been paying to have pumped into me in order to suppress my immune system and decrease my allergic reaction, were also increasing the dopamine levels in my brain, which lead to mood swings, depression, increased ocd, paranoia and a panic attack that landed me in the ER thoroughly convinced I was having a heart attack. O.o I also learned that increased dopamine levels reduce the level of serotonin in your brain, which totally increases depression.

So please be careful when being prescribed any medication. Make sure to pay close attention to how you're reacting, both physically and mentally. Tell your significant other/family/friends what side effects to look for when you start taking anything. Corticosteroids can be a good thing, and I know a couple people with lupus that need them to get by day to day, but I will forever be afraid of them now.

Yeah, I had a lot of steroids pumped into me over a short period of time, but trusted medical professionals were the ones doing it, fully aware of how much I'd already had. No, I've never had such a reaction to one shot in the hiney. But I can tell you that I've had plenty of steroid shots in my life, and no one ever took the time to tell me what it could possibly do to me. Even if the chances are slim, I want to know what to watch out for, and I want you to as well. I certainly never want any of my loved ones to be in that 3% of the many steroid psychosis sufferers that commit suicide.

Unless my immune system is completely compromised, and I pray it never will be, I'll just take my chances with whatever crud or allergic reaction I'm dealing with. Nothing I've ever needed a steroid shot for even remotely compares to the trauma I, my wonderful husband, family and friends have been dealing with since April.

Contact Dermatitis...I Think

I probably shouldn't be writing while I feel so awful. It's bound to be hopeless, and severely depressing, but on I go.

I've got an itchy rash. :( That alone makes me incredibly upset. I've never, until now, had anything like this. It all started as a little itchy bump on my left forearm. I thought it was a bug bite. I scratched it. Then I washed it, and put antibacterial salve and a bandage on it. Then I went to The Smokies with my husband to celebrate our 7 year anniversary, and scratch my arm about OFF.

Yeah, the seven year itch. I don't even think that's funny now.

No longer is this itchy red bumpy evilness only on my left arm. It's spread up the inside of my elbow a bit, all down my left ribs, and down a little further and around my back. *cries* It's itchy like mad, and red, bumpy and gross.

I've done all kinds of research as to what it could be, been to the doctor twice, am taking meds and waiting on a call from a dermatologist. I don't have insurance, so we'll see how that goes. I pray to God that this can be stopped, and soon.

If I came into contact with poison ivy/oak/whatever, it was almost three weeks ago now! I didn't get that first itchy bump until 6 days later, and then another week until this on my ribs came up, and it's still coming up! I didn't know allergic reactions worked like that - so delayed. Could I still be coming into contact with it, even after I've washed my clothing. I threw away my favorite Kermit shirt, because that's what I was wearing when the suspected poison attacked.

I've seen pictures of how bad it can be. I keep telling myself that I've not got it that bad, but the worst part is not knowing for sure. I didn't see a plant and think, "Hmm. Was that poison something-or-other I just rubbed myself past?" I've never had anything like this in 28 years of life, so I'm a bit upset. I don't know where it will keep spreading. I don't know if it'll stop, how bad it will get or if/when it will go away. I just feel completely helpless, depressed and itchy.

One of my best friends is getting married in 16 days, and I'm in the wedding. If this doesn't go away by then, I'll just die, or want to. So...I pray. I take my cold showers, prednisone (which makes me all kinds of weird feeling & gives me tummy troubles) and antihistamines, spread on the rubbing alcohol and caldryl and I cry.


If any of you pray, please do. I need help.

Solar Powered

Mr. T and I have been taking full advantage of this gorgeous weather, and I've been thoroughly annoying with my camera apps. ^_^

Mr. T

My trusty Daisy Cruiser

Stinky trees

I am solar powered, and so thankful for the sun.

Project Update!

A friend of mine is doing a safari theme in her grandson's room, and wanted me to come up with a waterdoodle for him. I was thrilled to find that the little man has taken a recent liking to Maurice Sendak's work, so I got to come up with a Wild Things inspired camera safari illustration. Squee!

I'm still in shock that I'm working on art full time. Maybe someday I'll find a stopping point on my to do list, so I can clean out my studio. It needs a major overhaul. One thing at a time...

Treasures

You guys aren't creepy stalkers, right? I mean, as far as I know, none of you have put too much effort into tracking me down in order to wear my skin. I'm not exactly the stealthiest blogger, so I'm sure you all know where I live. I tell you pretty much everything, so I figure you must be safe enough...

If someone wanted to kill me, they could most likely find me at home.* Working from the comfort of my own humble abode keeps my days pretty predictable, too. I wake up, drink massive quantities of water and open the windows. I set up my little work station, pet Kimchi Kitty and get to making art. I also manage to stalk people on facebook, check twitter, clean, and flail around my living room for extended periods of time in an attempt to burn calories.

I forgot my point.

Oh. I'm home a lot. So I'm making art all day, which is a dream come true, but I always manage to get distracted. While quickly visiting my online haunts, I end up spending way too much time on Etsy. I log in with the intention of checking my shop's activity, and posting a featured item to my shop's facebook page. Innocent enough, but I keep falling victim to Etsy Treasuries. I. Love. Making. Them. Aaaand I'm too obsessive compulsive to throw a collection together in a manner of minutes, as I assume other folks do. It takes me flippin' F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

So...I thought I'd share some of my time consuming etsy finds with you. The following items are directly linked to my heart. I would certainly not object were any of them to be shipped to my doorstep with a little note professing your undying/completely healthy love for me.

Tweed Patchwork? Yes, please!

I feel that these pins would magically tame my mess of curls.

I suppose I do consider myself lucky in love.

I'm Your Father

The Hunting Sparrow

I'd liked to know who doesn't need happy tiny buttons?

 I guess that's enough for now. I'll blather more another day.

* I am armed, and have no qualms about shooting an intruder's crotch off. Yes, off. Just in case any of you might be thinking about a Heather suit...

Wading

I've been so swamped with art projects, which I could not be happier about, I haven't really had the time to post very much. Poor old Mimsy gets neglected a lot, but I'm working on documenting more.  I think keeping up with bloggy therapy is good for the soul.

For now, I think I'll make a list of art projects/commissions:

1. custom kid's book (written but not yet completely illustrated)

2. two watercolor portraits for bff's mom

3. custom illustration

sketch detail of custom illustration

4. more handmade plush creatures (like the ones in the pictures below) for a local shop

Sally Sugar Skull

Mumford T. Monster

Lola Love Bunny

O'Malley Ogling Owlie

Love Ninja - This little guy is sold already, but I can make more upon request.

5. keep up with my etsy shop
 
Now, if I can just keep myself prioritized...

The Man Loves Chickens

How's it going, friends? Mr. T and I have been doing pretty well. We've been experiencing some changes lately. Some have been good, and some not so much, but we're dealing. Can't really complain.

I happily edited my employment status on the book of face last night. Self. Employed. I can't even begin to express how good it feels to be able to say that. Working from home definitely has its ups and downs, but the ups seem to be winning.

There are so many things that I wasn't able to do while working full time, little things like making  gifts for people. It's been years since I had the time and energy to make Mr. T a homemade valentine, so this year he got a little foxy fox card.

I cut out the pieces...

Colored them...

And then glued them together.

I also made him a felt plush chicken.

It's not as strange as it sounds. The man loves chickens.

I used to read posts about people quitting their day jobs, and I was so jealous. Pretending I was content worked for a while, but that hopelessly trapped feeling kept rearing its ugly head. I was so tired of begrudging other people their happiness, because I was too afraid to go looking for my own.

I am incredibly thankful that I'm able to focus on my artwork right now, and I hope I can keep it up.

Time Well Spent

It's been almost a week since I quit my job of five years, and I'm pretty happy with how I've been spending my time.

I can't remember the last time I was able to spend days in a row making art, and just enjoying life. Maybe that's a little dramatic. I know there are a million different ways to enjoy life in the ever day. As of late, my days had become somewhat of a soul suck. I'd come home with the intentions of being creative, but would end up crying all evening.

The first couple of days I cried a little, cleaned a little, and cried a little more. I've spent the last few days promoting my Etsy shop, working on commissions and just being thankful for the time to do it.

Behold!

"Boom Chicky Boom" card

"Ninja Love" card

"Nuts About You" card

Wee Hand-sewn Owl Plushies

My husband is being incredibly supportive about the whole "me not working" thing, because he's wonderful. However, unless my art sales become a lot more consistent, I'll have to get a job before too long. I'm just enjoying a little time off before it's necessary.

How Can Anyone Walk on Water, If They Won't Get Their Butt Out the Boat?

Anybody out there? It's been a long time since I was in a sharing mood, and I feel as if I should apologize for that. I allowed blogging to become just another place that I couldn't speak my mind. I'm not proud of that, and am in the process of changing it.

I've worked for the same nonprofit for over five years, and I've been unhappy with my working situation for around two of those.

If any of my faithful few are still out there, you may recall me blogging about landing a better paying job, giving my notice and leaving in 2009. You might also remember me spending one day on the new job, before crawling back to what I knew. What you won't remember are all of the feelings I never expressed, because I knew my boss read my blog.

Well, I went back to the old nonprofit job thinking I hadn't had it so bad after all. My paycheck wasn't a hefty one, but I was doing something good there. Believing if I just did my job to the best of my ability, I could put up with my boss not respecting me. I also thought I could handle snide remarks and nasty jokes at my expense, and rude comments about others...

I realize now that I have spent about three of the past five years just waiting. I've been waiting for something to change for me. Finally, I realized that I had to be that change. I've learned that we can't expect the constants around us to vary. We have to be the variables.

So...I quit my job last week. Live and learn, right? I'm taking a little time off, before I start looking for something else, and am not-so-secretly hoping that my artwork will make me a rich woman.

In the meantime...

Nothing but blue skies from now on. ^_^