Really In a Stew!

I googled ANGRY BIRD & found this image here.

Disclaimer: I am ranting in this post. I love many a person with free-time, stay at home wives, and/or mothers. I know we all have different priorities. I'm currently frustrated, so please refrain from taking offense to anything I type. Thank you.

If any of you pulchritudinous* people out there have read this old blog before, chances are high that you're aware of my tendency to overbook myself. To say I have a lot going on would be an understatement. I'm an artist, a secretary, and a program director. I'm slightly obsessive compulsive, and I have a problem saying "No."

All that being said, I'm not alone in my way too busy for a day-jobness. I had the following conversation recently.

BFF: I'm so tired of database work! I want to be at home sewing!!!
Me: Yeah. I keep thinking about things for etsy, the cake topper/guest book I'm working on, the book I'm illustrating. There's just so much to do that work gets in the way of, and it's insane! I even find myself being a little catty towards people who stay home. I know mom's that have kids in school have plenty to do, but I start wondering how they can have NO ARTSY CRAFTY ANYTHING! No hobbies!
BFF: Me too. It irritates me that other people have all this time on their hands, and I have none. When I do nothing - I feel guilty.
Me: I know.
Me: Why can't all the world be like us? It'd be a much better place...There would be biscotti and puppies...Starbucks and photography...
BFF: Warm woolen mittens, and brown paper packages tied up with string?
Me: Yes! Yes!! YES!!!

Now, this may seem a little off subject, but it's not. We have so much to do, and no time to do it! We're also ever so mildly insane, as you can see from the above conversation. If I were you, and I had free time, I'd come up with a hobby real quick-like. There are more of us, and we're likely to lash out eventually.

*That means you're beeeyooootiful. I used the thesaurus to find a new word for lovely to behold, and I thought that pulchritudinous was pretty interesting. Kind of an ugly word to have such a nice meaning, don't you think?

Whoa Nelly!

June is kicking my butt, bloggers. Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I think I might be losing it.

See? It's in the eyes, I think. And please note that I'm wearing a sundress. There has been much nakey talk about this photo. NOT NAKED.

Besides being an incredibly busy month, as discussed here, it has also been pretty harsh. Saturday night, while enjoying dinner with friends at a little Italian joint, my husband's truck was broken into. The culprits stole my purse, and my makeup bag. *cries*

I loved that big green Target purse, and Etsy Russian nesting doll makeup bag. Something I loved even more than them? All the stuff I keep in them, including my driver's license, social security card, and the keys to my home, office and vehicle! Yeah. Awesome.


I'm still in the process of getting things replaced, warding off credit fraud, identity theft and coping with the loss of the things that I'll never get back again. I kind of feel like I'm missing a limb, so please excuse my lack of posting/reading your loverly blogs. The Busy and The Blah are something I have to work through, but I'll catch up soon. My birthday is this Sunday, and I'm hoping to have worked through a lot of this mess by then.


*mwah*

Bamboozled

There are a lot of things I can stand for, but taking advantage of people is not one of them. Especially when it's someone I happen to think is pretty freakin' awesome, like Shannon. The interwebs can be a beautiful thing, people supporting people they've never even met, individuals coming together to raise awareness and mucho dinero for worthy causes, but it can also be a nasty reminder that people really suck sometimes and you've gotta watch your back. If someone as intelligent as Shannon can get bamboozled, you might be next. *shudders* That's why the following post is being passed along. Read the story and be cautious.

I'm involved in this awareness day, because I was one of the unlucky bloggers. One of the unlucky that was scammed by Jess, the previous owner of Delicious Design Studio. {This in no way involves the current owners of DDS}

I loved her style. I loved her blog. I loved her portfolio. I wanted her to bring all of my ideas to life, and I wanted to pay her good money to do so because I knew she could. At the end of 2008, I decided I wanted a blog design done for my birthday in May, 2009. She had all of my ideas and my $112 down payment. At first, everything was great. I watched as names were scratched off of the schedule list, and the time for my design was getting closer. Then, I got an email saying she was going through personal problems with her family (health) and that she promised she would get around to it by a certain date. The end date was creeping up, and I hadn't heard from her. I would send emails asking how things were going, only to get automated "out of office" replies. Then, the final day came where I was supposed to have everything installed and published. I still hadn't heard from her. So, I decided to write her another email.

Hey Jess,

I feel like I bother you all of the time, so sorry! I'm just checking in because today is the final day and I haven't heard from you yet. I'm just anxious to see it! Can't wait to hear from you!

Working on the mock ups to send to you tonight. Just got into the office for the day/evening :)

I got super excited to see that she actually wrote me back herself, and that she was working on mine. Then she wrote me again! She sent me a link to look through her stock images and choose some final touch ups. I was overwhelmed with happiness that she was contacting me so much, and that my design was going to be on my screen for my approval shortly. Then I got this automated email.

Thank you for your e-mail! I appreciate your inquiry and will respond as quickly as possible. :)

::project status//details//notes::
sent mock ups, working on final edits & installations:
kathy, marci, shari, april marie, tammy.

current projects for July 6th - 11th:

(finalizing mock ups for review)
andrea, asmah, karmeka, shannon, summer, michelle, stephanie, katie,

steph, abi, leoni & tonia.
Friendly Reminder: I will be away from my desk Sunday, July 12th - Wednesday, July 15th and not have access to my e-mail.

So now she's out of the office and not going to send me the mock up she had just promised? Since it was July 10th, and I saw she was going to be out of town, I decided the next day to write her this email.
The main goal of this awareness day, is so that it doesn't happen to others. Please tweet about this, repost it, whatever you can to help spread the word. We've been told she's still doing blog designs, but under a different name. Be cautious of who you give your money to! We learned the hard way.

Hello lovely lady :) wondering how the process is coming along. I know you will be out of the office starting tomorrow so I wasn't sure if you'd be finished with my mock up by then or not. I hope everything is going well, I know you are very busy...just checking in :) thanks for your time and always being so sweet!

Love,
Shannon

July 30th rolls around (more than 2 weeks since she had been back from "out of town")...yes I let it go that long.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I was under the impression my mock up was supposed to be sent to me by the 11th this month, and I haven't heard from you at all. Bills keep popping up and it's getting kind of difficult to watch the money sit there. Should we reschedule the date or will it be ready soon? Just let me know. I hope you and your family are well!

Love,
Shannon

Hey Shannon -

I appreciate your patience. I got so wrapped up in my last design that I got sidetracked. Don't worry about the final payment. I will not expect it since this has taken a little longer than expected.. I will finish this up at no charge. :)

Jess,
That would be SO helpful. Thank you!

And like a sucker, I believed it. I got happy again, and was so excited to know that I wouldn't have to pay the 2nd half. As it turns out, I never got my design, or even a design worth at least the money I paid. I never got my money back, and I never heard from her again. I truly thought with so many bloggers I read that had her designs, that I wouldn't get treated like this. And furthermore, how does she choose who she rips off? After all the frustration and disappointment, I was too drained to even try and get my money back. I have recently found out that it wasn't just a couple of people that were scammed by Jess. It's much more than that. In fact, there's reviews written about it here, here, and here. Even a blog site dedicated to it here. That's not including all of the comments left on those reviews by people in the same boat! I understand I should have done this research before hand, so it's my loss. But that doesn't make what she did right.

I hate having something so negative on my blog, and bad mouthing is just drama in my book that I want no part of. However, this is different. This is a crime. $5, fine keep it. $10, $20 even. But money that could have been used to pay a bill if I would have known I was going to get nothing in return? That's just wrong.

I don't know about y'all, but I'm all for getting a mob together to hunt this so called "Jess" down. Wrong-doing hussy! Feel free to pass this along. Awareness is totally the key.

Twitter Does Not Like YOU

I try to be a nice person. Really, I do. Verbally bashing people on the old blog just isn't my thing. Normally. But there are always exceptions. I'm just going to get right down to it, okay?

I don't like John Mayer.

There! I said it. I don't like him, you hear me?! Jesus loves him, but I think he's creepy. Now, I know a lot of you ladies are going right now to delete my blog from your Readers, but I can't live the lie. I've been keeping it quiet for far too long, and I just can't stand it any longer. Hear me out.

I really tried to like him. When I first heard him, I thought he was a nice boy from Connecticut. He played the guitar, wrote semi-intelligent lyrics and had a decent voice, but something was amiss. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Time passed, and I sort of forgot about him. Then he did it. He guided my finger right to what was bugging me about him.

In 2001 John Mayer came out with "Your Body Is A Wonderland," and I gagged a little. Well, a lot actually. Yeah. Yeah. It's smooth, catchy, going for sexy. I get it, and it might have been alright...IF it weren't for that dreaded line: One pair of candy lips, and your bubblegum tongue.

Now, who here thinks the idea of chewing on someone's tongue is attractive? Wait. Don't tell me. Please.

My point is, I decided the guy was gross. His pouty lips got on my nerves. His "I'm so cool" shaggy rocker hair got on my nerves. The way he whisper-crooned GOT ON MY NERVES. The guy just bugged me. All I could do was picture him gnawing on some poor girl's tongue, which lead to my justified dislike of all things Mayer.

Well, imagine my surprise the other day when I see a picture of this guy.
Where the heck does he get off being attractive?! Tattoos? Some sexy-man facial hair? I mean, did he model himself after a picture of Johnny Depp/Jack Johnson? A good plan for almost any man, but not someone I've resigned myself to thinking is a schmuck. No sir.

And who looks better with a buzz cut?! I'm telling you, bloggers, the man is not normal.

Dear John Mayer,

If you're going to start out completely annoying, you need to just stay that way. Don't change somewhere in the middle, so I look like a moron for griping about your stupid lips and hair. All I'm asking for is some consistency here.

P.S. Twitter does not like you.

That's It...

I've had all I'm going to take today. Despite the fact that I've now been prescribed, and am hopped up on, anxiety/antihistamine meds(who knew these two were related?!) I am ready to rip someone a new one. No joke. I've had all I'm going to take today.

Problem. I'm not very assertive. Expressing my anger usually brings about the same reaction as the following adorable puppy(thanks google images ^_^).

In college a friend of mine told me that I had the intimidation factor of a declawed kitten, and he was right. Sometimes I wish I could be mean. Though, I'd probably feel bad about it later.

So, back to my anger and disdain.

I long ago accepted the fact that my tonsils hate my guts, or at least my ears, nose and throat. So, tonsillitis hanging on for dear life? I can deal. Breaking out in little red stripes that itch a lot? Been there. Done that. For years. And now I have meds for it! Which seem to be helping. Whether it's an allergic reaction to my antibiotic/the world, or stress-these wee little white pills are just the thing.

What I can not accept today, little white pills or not, is a pushy person. Not today. Maybe tomorrow, but NOT today.

I'm at work, minding my own, when I get this call. This chick on the phone starts blathering on about how she needs some healthy marriage classes. I work for a non-profit family services agency. I'm used to calls like this, but before I can refer her to someone who may be able to help her she starts getting all belligerent. Seriously.

Apparently my name is on a website, along with a friend of mine, as offering healthy marriage counsel.

Whatchu say?! TIME OUT. Not so.

I tell this lady that it's a mistake. I politely (as always) inform her that I am not trained to, nor have I ever taught such a course.

Does she say, "Oh, okay. Thanx. Bye!"?

OF COURSE NOT. She proceeds to treat me like I'm a liar, and explains how much she needs this course.

Now, I feel bad for her and all, but oy vey! I am not a healthy marriage counselor, and I'm not lying! My tonsils hate me, despite uber huge horse pill antibiotics. My chest, neck and back look a little like I was attacked by a hoard of angry pixies in dire need of manicures, and I'm doped up. So, best be easin' up out my face 'fore som'n bad hap'n. A'ight?

I'm ready for bed now.

x_x

Deep Healing Breaths

So, my blog has lacked a little "pep" as of late. Despite this bloggy hiatus, I've been having an all around happy crappy time. Whenever I think about posting, I decide to spare you all the whining and wallowing, but no more. I've decided to embrace the waist-deep mire I'm inhabiting.

I won't bother back tracking. Let's just start with today...

It's raining. Again. Rain is good and all. Plants love it.

I. AM. NOT. A. PLANT. I miss the sun. I blew a kiss to it when I saw it yesterday. Sigh.

Making the descent into my office via the back parking lot is a dangerous excursion. The steps are old, rickety and (Bon Jovi would be proud) slippery when wet. Yeah. I busted it.

How about a list of outcomes?!

-My khaki skirt now has a big soggy brown spot in the general area of my bum.
-My knee scraped up against the door. :(
-At least two of my toes are broken, for sure(ow-eee).
-My lunch is now muddy.
-I'm cold.
-I hate everything.

So, here's to embracing. What glorious and wonderful things have happened to y'all lately? Care to share? C'mon. Let's wallow.

It helps me to remember that no matter how rotten it gets, I have things to be thankful for. The book of Job always helps me through. It's pitiful, but inspiring.

God is good. He really is. I know, especially in times like these, He is my biggest supporter and friend. So, we're pretty tight at the moment, and that's alright by me. ^_^

Icky Blah Hmph

This day has been out to get me. I have put up a good fight, but am now throwing in the towel.

I need sunshine and fresh air to thrive. What do I get? Rain, rain and more rain. So much rain, in fact, that my office flooded. Again.

I have spent the majority of this day wrestling a shop vac to remedy soggy/soured carpet, entertaining my boss' 10 month old son (which was the highlight), and battling a head ache.

My will has been broken. My little light has gone out.

I'll try again tomorrow. Perhaps the sun will too.

List Lust VII

Obviously, that last post left out some important details. In honor of the List Lust that I would like to have written, I think I'll just go ahead and list the facts. The terribly creepy, disgruntling facts.

Initially, we thought perhaps these things were all separate issues, but now we know otherwise.

1.) For about a week and a half now, Todd and I have been arguing over who is leaving the back door unlocked/not completely latched. Like a good gust of wind blows, and the door is standing open. You have to kind of slam it, and finagle to get the dead bolt locked.

2.) In the last three days I've come home to the door either standing open or the handle is locked, but the door is not shut all the way. To the untrained eye, it appears to be shut, but it's ghetto. The door way swells, making it less than incredibly easy to shut it.

3.) As of late, my living room smells of earthy strangeness. Todd and I have been burning candles and incense, climbing under the house to see if there are rodents in the ventilation system. Something is making my house smell, well, a little less like hazelnut cream, and a little more "mossy".

4.) My poor Kimchi Kitty has been getting sick as of late. Like, not normal. Sometimes he eats too much, and I find wee piles of already loved kitty kibble, but this is different. His tummy is obviously upset.

5.) Once or twice I've come home to find the kitchen door open, which is NOT okay. We ALWAYS shut it. We installed it to keep the birds safe from the kitty, when we're not home.

6.)Yesterday, I got up about 20 minutes after Todd left for work. I went in the laundry room to grab my clean clothes, and found the back door not shut all the way. It looked shut, but it was not. Only the handle was locked.

So, I called Todd.

Me: Honey, did you go out the back door this morning?
Todd: Nope, and I dead bolted it.
Me: Obviously not. It was not dead bolted. Nor was it latched shut.
Todd: I checked it three times! Did you go out it for anything?!
Me: No. I was getting clean clothes and saw it wasn't shut all the way.
Todd: Someone has a key.
Me: What?!

What does that mean, friends? That means that someone has a key to unlock my deadbolt. It also means that they have no problems coming in the house WHILE I AM STILL SLEEPING/IN THE SHOWER.

I quickly got dressed in the privacy of a locked bathroom, and left for work. I checked our hide-a-key, and sure enough, it was gone. I vowed not to enter this home until we had replaced the locks, so Todd got on that.

We now have new locks and deadbolts, and a hidden camera to see who attempts to get in. Muahahaha. Plus, I'm hiding here today. Jeep's hidden in the back. I hope to God we catch them. We have an idea as to who it might be, but we don't want to point any fingers. We could be wrong, but someone has been coming in.

My bet, is that it's a teenager. Coming in with our spare keys. Smoking a little pot(thinking we don't know what it smells like). Watching some tele. Playing some PlayStation. Just to have a getaway. Punk probably thinks it's not that big a deal. Thinks it's not hurting anything/one. So, I'm not expecting the culprit until after school.

However, the teenager theory doesn't explain coming in while I'm sleeping. My Jeep was outside! They knew I was here. It's really my most hoped for scenario. I'm not afraid of this kid. I want to catch the punk, call the cops, and do a little life threatening. Then I'll be good.

If it's not the teenager? I'm not even going to think about it. Right now, I'm thinking we've got new locks. No one can get in. I'm in here with my kitty(who hasn't been sick) and my Louisville Slugger close at hand.

If I hear someone trying the back door? Say "Hello" to my little friend. I am going to dent their frickin' head in. I am so mad that someone would invade our privacy like this. SO MAD.

Oh, and working for a non profit teen shelter, I've heard all the creepy stories why teenage boys might enter your home. Let's just say that I've washed all my undergarments. *cringe* *shutter*

Mad Mad Madam Mim

I don't get mad very often. Frustrated? Sure. Down right mad? Not so much. Usually, a good rant and I'm done, but I guess that's because it's never that big a deal.

Invasion of privacy? Big deal! Breaking and entering? Big deal! Being all around creepy? Big freaking deal!

Someone has stolen our "hide-a-key" and is coming in our house-either while we're sleeping, or not home. Yeah. You read right. SOMEONE IS COMING IN OUR HOUSE!

Now, I realize a spare key out of doors isn't the best idea, but you have to understand who we're talking about here. ME.

I lock myself out of the house on a regular basis. In the cold. In my terribly mismatched pajamas. Without my cell phone. Or my car keys. And I'm too short to climb in our most likely locked windows.

So, all the locks have now been replaced, we've installed a video camera, and I'm working from home tomorrow...with my Louisville Slugger, and cell phone in hand.

At the moment? I'm not sure who I'd like to get a hold of. I just know I'd like to. I could seriously do some damage right about now.

Why? Why? Why?

It's not often that I feel impressed to verbally bash someone. Leave a puppy in a truck all afternoon, or sit at a green light for an excessive amount of time , and I might rant a little. Might.

This fine day I am going to rant about my family. Why, on this little blue and green planet that God so carefully made, can my mother and sister not get along?! Why?

Is it so hard to be nice to each other from a few states apart? I understand that when you live in the same household it's difficult to breath without annoying one another, but they live in different states. We only get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We're all intelligent individuals. Why?!

Without giving any nasty details, it's bad. If they ever speak again after this is resolved, I'll be surprised. Seriously. It's that ugly.

And who should be the mediator? Ah, yes. The little sister. The nice one without a potty mouth (Seriously, folks. When they're mad, these women put sailors to shame.). The one that's at peace with everyone in her family. Even her less than constant alcoholic dad. Let's call her and rant and cry. It calms her down and helps her sleep at night.

I actually like that they both know they can talk to me. I just wish I could fix things between them, and I just don't think I can. :(

Yeah. So, I can't really focus to post about anything else right now. It's the mama drama at the moment, and I apologize. Hopefully, I'll have cute crafty things for you tomorrow. Along with a little list to lust after. Until then. I'm off to Ari's for girls' night in! There might be a boy or two involved, but we'll get rid of them before the night's over.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?!

I have just had a very uncomfortable experience with a very angry person. Ugh. Is it just me, or is it extremely unnerving to attempt to soothe a savage beast?

Keeping my calm in the face of anger is my forte. As I may have mentioned, I grew up in a loving, but emotionally, and sometimes physically, volatile home. At age five I knew to keep my mouth shut and listen, or it would just be worse. I am completely capable of listening and remaining objective...if it's not personal.

This was personal. I managed to keep cool, but it was so hard. SO. HARD.

Even when I disagree with someone I can always see at least part of their argument. See and understand. Biting my tongue is easy. Loving in spite of disagreement is easy. Being called a HYPOCRITE because I can see and understand where someone is coming from, but still not agree?! Not so easy.

The conversation ended like this:

ME: You know I love you and I understand where you're coming from. We might just have to agree to disagree here.

THEM: Well...*huff* I love you too(undertone of I want to strip you of your ability to think for yourself and make you my mini me).

I'd call that a success, were it not for the heavy heart I now carry. I hate when I can't soothe someone by just listening...when they aren't satisfied until you give up your belief and adopt theirs. Not. Going. To. Happen.

Deep healing breaths.

Gloom & Doom

I've never really done this before, but I'm giving my husband the silent treatment. Mind you, this will not be easy. I don't play off silent very well at all. I am always the first to send up the white flag, whether I was at fault or not. I just hate arguing. But that will not happen this day.

I had an extremely rough morning, and he was unsympathetic and just plain mean to me. Even when I told him that I left my lunch, yummy egg rolls, on top of my Jeep as I left for work this morning.

It was raining on me. I had my hands full. The egg rolls were frozen and causing my fingers to go numb. So, I sat them on my roof. Innocent enough, but oh the repercussions.

So, they bounced off into a mud puddle. Face down. Thus adding to my horrible morning. All because of the rain!

When I called my husband for pity. That is what I wanted. Just an "Oh no, baby." Instead I got a lecture on how me being me just annoys him. The gist was that I am an ineffective moron. When I asked him to please stop, and I said it loudly, he hung up on me.

Now, in his measly defense, he had a rough morning too. I understand snapping, but I do not condone HANGING UP ON ME FOR NO REASON and then not apologizing.

I'm not one for games. I hate them and I do NOT play them. Manipulating someones actions and emotions creeps me out. It's like an evil science project, but today I am not speaking to him until he admits that hanging up on me was not justified, and apologizes for being a big mean man.

Furthermore, I blame all of this on the weather. The rain is killing us. The clouds are blocking out the sky and sun, and we will all die soon.

Window Seat PLEASE?!?!?!?

Okay. I have no time to be blogging right now, but I must vent.

Me + Plane = right as rain

Unless I'm without a window seat. Then you just don't want to be near me, or between me and that ever so luxurious bathroom that everyone's DYING to piddle in.

I flew all the way to Korea by my lonesome and I was fine. Enjoyed the flight. Not the 17 hour one so much, but it was cool. Why was it cool? Because I was by a window. I could see. I could breath.

So, husband person got approved for a convention thingy in San Francisco and that's grand. We just have to pay for my ticket and tada! Awesome mini vacation.

I should be completely stoked. Yes I say stoked. Instead I have to be stressing out because Todd's supervisor has been sitting on this whole getting everything set up thing for like two months!

Since Bossy Poo thought he'd tell us about this trip to Cali, oh I don't know, two and a half WEEKS before our expected departure...deep healing breath...I am going to have an isle seat from Missouri to California. Like 4 hours of me trying to pretend like I can breathe that canned air blissfully.

I will throw up.

Oh, and I don't get to sit by my husband on that flight either!

GLORIOUS!

Maybe someone will be nice and switch seats with me. Maybe.

It's Not Pleasant

Alright. I guess we know where we all stand. I'm getting ready for work as we speak/type/read/whatever. So, I'm going to let it slide that y'all didn't have my back on this whole positive thinking ice thing. I can be benevolent and just let it go. I can.

Today has been a rough morning, already. Last night was a rough night. It seems, and I think a few of you can back me up on this, that today just sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks.

Last night I had an unpleasant "discussion" with my husband person. Although resolved at this point, it still ruined my night.

Then I dropped my blueberry bagel, slathered with cream cheese, face down in the sink before beginning this post on this non-icy, once potentially awesome day.

Next, on my way in to work I'm supposed to pick up a donation. One that had been confirmed for our shelter this Christmas. I call ahead and do my spiel to this guy. No donation. No concern. No brain.

And I have now come to the realization that I am wearing mismatched socks, and I'm not changing it (No those are not my mismatched socks pictured above. I'm pretty sure those are hobbit feet.).

The only perks to this day thus far have been:
a) It's gorgeous outside
b) Your posts make me smile*

Maybe things are looking up? Have a good day and weekend.

*Thus, my mercy upon you for the non-icy day I'm having. ^__^

Heather Primavera

I consider myself to be a pretty understanding person. I don't normally jump to conclusions, or react harshly, but sometimes I want to. Oh, how I want to.

This weekend Todd and I made a mad dash to the grocery store for some much needed items. Among these was pasta sauce for my world famous three cheese ravioli. ^__^

Now, normally we do the whole self check out thing for minimum human interaction. It saves on time and energy, and will eventually eliminate any need for cashiers. Wonderful people, I'm sure. I just have an aversion to them.

On this occasion we went to a manned check out. The lady was nice, but obviously not well. Runny nose, blood shot eyes, coughing...really gross and germy. Definitely in need of some cough syrup and a nap. But no. She's at Walmart, serving Satan!

So, we do the whole stand there, smile, pay and "have a nice night, hope you feel better" thing. Then we escape with our cart. We grab our few bags and out the door we go.

Standing next to the truck, in the cold, I wait for Todd to open the tail gate. All of a sudden the heavy bag I'm resting over my shoulder gets a lot lighter. I hear glass shattering and instantly my leg is cold and I smell the sweet aroma of Prego(with mushrooms).

Check out chick must've been doped up on some NyQuil after all. She put the ginormous jar of spaghetti sauce in a bag with a 2 liter. Smart much?! I realize I could've paid attention to her bagging expertise, but I shouldn't have to!

I laughed it off and went and cleaned up. I looked like I'd been mauled by Theo. From the knee down my right leg was covered in red. It was a gory mess.

Yes. I waltzed up to customer service and told them what happened. Yes. They replaced the pasta sauce. Yes. They apologized whole heartily, and I smiled and said things like: It's fine. It's okay. It's not your fault.

It's not fine. It's not okay. My pants are ruined and it is their fault. I even did magical-get-stain-out stuff, and there are still orange spots on my corduroys. That woman should've been home nursing that cold. Not absent mindedly bagging my groceries.

Sometimes I wish I could just be mean.

Suck Fest

I don't want to give people the wrong impression. I'm a happy person. Really, I am. Finding humor in the everyday, even a day like today, is normally my cup of tea. I'm just finding it difficult this morning.

So, in honor of all that sucks like a hoover, here is a list of things about today that I loathe. Not hate. LOATHE.

I loathe...

1) the fact that my sweet little kitty cat is obviously striving to come up with new and exciting health problems.
2) spending large sums of money at the vet.
3) when your husband gives the cat TWICE the recommended dosage of meds, and then acts like it's your fault that he didn't double check the directions BEFORE administering.
4) dry skin.
5) sore throats.
6) loathing this many things on a Friday!!!

I hope all of your days are much better than the Suck Fest mine has been thus far. In the event that your day does suck? Please share. Misery loves company, you know?

What Day Is It?

Why do people put Christmas stuff out before Thanksgiving?!?! I mean, I love Christmas as much as the next person, but why ruin it? Why do I have to be subjected to holly jolly Christmas tunes before I darn well choose?!

I'm convinced that it's a marketing strategy. Someone in some marketing department somewhere really think we're that impressionable. Well, believe me you buddy. I am not that malleable, and I don't care how many times I have to listen to "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas," I will not get into the holiday spirit until after Thanksgiving! And I will not do it by shopping!

I've made my dorky/noble little pledge to hand make more gifts this year. I'm knitting, painting and crafting like a madwoman. Sure, I'll still buy some Christmas gifts, but it will not be on the biggest shopping day of the year. Nor will it be due to having been pumped full of freaking Christmas cheer for two whole months! You're sneaky little plan failed Mr. Advert Man. Nice try, though.

Now, the city putting lights up is fine. I like twinkle lights at night. It's all magical and whatnot. But the next schmuck I see stringing their house with lights before the day after Thanksgiving is gonna get it from all 5'4" of me. Right in the kisser.

Dog In The Box

Who here loves animals? Let's see a show of hands. Alright. Who here likes dogs especially? Prepare to be angered.

My office is downtown across the street from the court house. Everyday a gazillion cars whiz by, like giant schools of fishies. It can get pretty noisy. Today, I heard a dog whimper. Then a yelp. I thought perhaps it was a spoiled mutt waiting not-so-patiently for their person. I quickly found a stopping point in my work to go investigate.

To my surprise there was a county worker's truck parked across the street. One of the animal control ones. A big white Chevy with a silver box in the bed. That's where the puppy pleas were coming from. Correction-CAME FROM ALL DAY! That truck was there until 4, and that doggy just cried and cried!

Animals have to be picked up and taken to the pound sometimes. I understand that. Can't they at least make it swift! Chances are this mutt bit someone, which will grant him immediate night-nights, or he's been scrounging for food in someones garbage bin, in an attempt to survive. So, this guy decides to leave the mutt to rot in this big metal box.

Both of my dogs are of the mutt persuasion. I found them hungry, cold and homeless. Now they're family. We were friends in seconds and cuddling on the way to the vet. They are forever grateful for my hospitality and I their love and fuzzy, slobbery goodness. Why can't everyone love animals enough to keep them from these sort of situations?

What possesses people to get critters if they aren't going to love and care for them?! Why do they let them run around without being spayed/neutered?! There are just way too many irresponsible, self-absorbed, desensitized jack-offs that find it necessary to have animals, but not take care of them.

Now, I want to know what was so all-fired important in that court house that a county worker had to leave an unattended, frightened, most likely thirsty/hungry animal in a cold metal box for hours?! Seriously. I guarantee he was in there flirting with a secretary, and didn't give that dog a second thought.

So, there I sat in my office on a beautiful fall Monday afternoon, listening to a pitiful puppy cry for help. I was so waiting for that dude to stroll out of the court house. I wanted to ask him what his business consisted of today. I wanted to know where that doggy came from, where it was going, and unless it bit someone and was acting rabid, which it's was not, why it deserved to sit in a cold metal box with no food or water for all afternoon. I'm really curious.

My husband thinks I'm overreacting. He usually does. He proposes that perhaps the man had a very sound excuse for his neglect. Perhaps the animal was safer in the box than where he was prior to his abduction. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perrrrrrrhaps.

Perhaps that doesn't change the fact that he was whimpering in a box across from my office. Someone was careless somewhere down the line and I am so tired of seeing animals suffer because of inconsiderate people.

Phone Company Harpy

I've been on the phone with the Phone Company Harpy for about 10 minutes now. I took it upon myself to create a sketch derived from her tone of voice and attitude. I can't be too sure, but I think she looks something like this.
Just thought I'd share.

Mr. Ogle

While reading Lauren's post about the grabby shopper, I was reminded of a few awkward shopping adventures of my own. Perhaps I'm alone here, but I wonder.

I never shop alone. Like ever. I don't like shopping unless it's an adventure, and adventures require friends. So, trying on clothes is an experience involving running around half dressed from one friend's dressing room to the next, acquiring opinions and laughing. A male in no way balances this equation!

Is it normal for male employees to be stationed in female dressing rooms? Old Navy started it and it's becoming an epidemic! Perhaps this is accepted and I'm strange, but I don't need Mr. Ogle here nonchalantly checking me out-all half zipped and buttoned-for any reason!!

Are you gay? Are you straight? Why exactly are you ogling me sideways/full-on?!?!? I'm sorry, but if you're a member of one sex and you're in the opposite sex's dressing room, I have every right to wonder about your sexual preference! Which, I couldn't care less about otherwise, and am disturbed that I have to even consider!

Is it just me, or is this unacceptable?!